I think...
it need some more reverb, but seeing as how your recording situation is almost like mine with the exeption that I don't have a mic, i use a program to write piano songs on my guitar, I would say that this a a really good attempt, this song needs a little more, mabey a harmony, chorus, and solo. I can really see this song going somewhere. when i get myself those programs that i need I'll hit you up and tell you my opinions on which to get. you got yourself a fan!